OPPORTUNITIES, CHOICES & MARKERS

In the spring of 1984, Greenleaf was invited to give a commencement address at Alverno College, a Catholic women’s college in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  His address was delivered by video transmission for he no longer traveled.  The title of his address was: LIFE’S CHOICES AND MARKERS.  Greenleaf wrote out and read his ‘talks’ and so we have access to many of them – a gift, indeed. 

Greenleaf wrote the following as a written introduction to his address: “I decided that I would make a brief summary of five major ideas that had shaped the course of my life and work. What I wanted to convey in 20 minutes, without lecturing them about it, is that ideas nurture the human spirit that determines how one comes out of life, and that one chooses, among all the ideas one has access to, which will guide what one does with one’s opportunities. And that choice is crucial.”

I will quote Greenleaf’s ‘summary’: “As I review my experience, it has been important that I be open to ideas, all of the time. There are five that now seem to me to have been important in giving a sense of direction to my life and work. First, the servant model of my father. Then the advice of Professor Oscar Helming when I was 21: get into a big institution and stay there and help shape its character. At age 25, I encountered the writings of E. B. White and was alerted to the importance of seeing things whole.  I stayed with his writing for the next 55 years.  At age 40, Elmer Davis advised me to start preparing for a useful old age.  At 65 Hermann Hesse gave me the idea of the servant as leader that has occupied me ever since. It seems to me in retrospect, that responding to each of these ideas when it was offered was the ticket of admission for receiving the next one.  At 80, I am still looking and listening.”

Gentle Reader: What are some of the ‘opportunities’ that have presented themselves to you during your life-time?  How did you respond to them?  What was a ‘Choice’ you made given the opportunity and what impact did your choice have upon you?  Who were the ‘mentors’ in your life that ‘called you forth’?  Which of them did you ignore?  Which did you embrace?  What are 3-5 choices that you made that are now ‘markers’ in your life? 

I leave us with Greenleaf’s words: “… you will choose, either consciously or by default. And to make good choices I have found it helpful to be open to ideas, to be expectant, to be hopeful.”

CONSIDER: CARING

Greenleaf specifically uses the term ‘caring’ in his essays, speeches and letters.  I am not clear as to what he means by the term.  For example, in his ‘Credo’ (his ‘I believe’ statement) he says that a charge of the servant is to help create a society that is more just and more caring.  In his “Best Test” one of the indicators for the servant is that those who are served grow as persons; the servant cares enough about the other so that he or she serves in a way that is growth producing.  So, what is ‘caring’?

Consider that ‘caring’ is one of the following or it is a combination of the two. (1) Caring is a desirable attribute of a relationship between two people.  (2) Caring is a virtue possessed by a moral person (‘Virtue Ethics’ attempts to describe caring as a virtue).  I am going to explore the first part of this — caring as an attribute in a relationship.

I am considering a relationship that has some longevity to it not the relationship that occurs once, in a moment in time (although this second type of relationship can involve caring).  So, consider that there exists a relationship between ‘A’ and ‘B.’ In this scenario, ‘A’ is the carer and ‘B’ is the cared-for. 

In order for a caring relationship to be present it seems that four things must occur — each of these is necessary if a relationship of caring is to be experienced.  First, ‘A’ is attentive to ‘B’ — ‘A’ listens intently and receptively to ‘B’s’ verbal and non-verbal messages in order to understand ‘Bs’ needs. 

Next, ‘A’ is motivated to address ‘B’s’ needs.  Any number of things can block ‘A’: ‘A’ may disapprove of the need ‘B’ has expressed or ‘B’s’ need might be too great for ‘A’ or ‘A’ might not fully understand ‘B’s’ need [remember, Greenleaf says that the servant serves the other’s highest priority needs — not just any needs and certainly not just the other’s wants].  However, as long as ‘A’ is attentive (which requires being awake and aware and intentional and purposeful) a positive flow of energy is likely to take place from ‘A’ to ‘B’ and this energy might well be accompanied by some action on ‘A’s’ part.

Third, ‘A’ must act, he or she must respond to ‘B’ in some way.  The desire to serve (we can ‘serve’ another’s needs but we might not be able to ‘meet’ them) ‘B’s’ need becomes important — perhaps urgent or perhaps primary — in shaping a response.  Again, a myriad of factors will influence what is actually done.  For example, ‘A’s’ approval or disapproval of the need expressed by ‘B’ or ‘A’s’ competence in serving ‘B’s need or the resources available might not be enough to help ‘A’ serve ‘B’s’ need.  In addition, there exists a commitment: ‘A’ is committed to maintaining or improving the caring relation itself.  So, ‘A’ is motivated to serve ‘B’s’ highest priority needs AND ‘A’ is also committed to enhancing the caring relation.

Finally, in order to complete the relation ‘B’ must contribute something.  As the one cared-for ‘B’ must signal in some way that the caring is received and is recognized (affirmed) as caring.  ‘B’s’ contribution is significant in all relationships but is more significant in relationships that are inherently ‘unequal’ (e.g. parent-child, teacher-student, physician-patient).  In ‘mature’ and ‘mutual’ relationships there is an expectation that ‘A’ and ‘B’ exchange places when a need from either emerges — ‘A’ is at one time carer and at another time the one cared-for.  In inherently unequal relationships, however, ‘A’ bears the major responsibility (response-ability) for caring.

Greenleaf said that it is not a question of ‘who gets the credit.’  So in caring, what is important is that in caring both parties’ are positively affected by the other, which is why the response of the one cared-for is so crucial to completing the caring relation.  Yesterday I was blessed with a gift of ‘time’ with my granddaughter Samia (she is now 8 months old).  I was watching Samia affirm us as we cared for her – a delight to see that she reflected to us that indeed we were caring for her. 

It seems clear that the response of the cared-for is necessary to sustain and enhance the caring relation.  It would seem strange to declare that ‘A’ and ‘B’ are in a caring relationship when ‘B’ shows no sign of recognizing it.  How crucial is ‘B’s’ response? 

Consider how many professionals ‘burnout’ due to a lack of response to the care the professional offers to the one cared-for. For example, teachers burn out when students do not respond to the teacher’s caring, and nurses burnout because comatose patients don’t seem to respond to the care provided (of course, there are ‘signals’ that both students and comatose patients might send to the care-giver and part of the ‘art’ of the profession is to learn to discern these signals).  Yet, it seems to be true that it becomes too hard to serve as a carer for long periods of time to those who do not or cannot respond and affirm that caring has taken place.

I am thinking of the caring relationships I have.  How am I doing as the one caring and how am I doing as the one being cared-for?  How about you, Gentle Reader?  How are you doing as a carer and how do you let the one caring for you know that his/her caring has been received and embraced by you? 

MY POSITION IS. . .

In 1980 Greenleaf wrote: My position is: if we are to move toward a more caring, serving society than we now have, competition must be muted. . . I believe that serving and competing are antithetical; the stronger the urge to serve, the less the interest in competing. . . The servant is importantly concerned with the consequences of his actions: those being served, while being served become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants. And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society; will they benefit, or, at least, not be further deprived? And, no one will knowingly be hurt by the action? – the servant is strong without competing. But unfortunately, we have decreed that ours shall be a competitive society.

This is one of those challenging and stimulating passages that have consistently given me pause. When I have shared this with business folks (I almost typed in ‘fools’ rather than ‘folks’ – Freud would have been proud) their verbal response was akin to: ‘This is airy-fairy stuff; the real world does not act this way – the real world is competitive by nature.’ Ah, but is it? Greenleaf suggests we spend time reading, reflecting upon and talking about (via searching conversations) Peter Kropotkin’s book ‘Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution’ – for Kindle books this is a free download and one can also find the complete book free on-line in a PDF format. Kropotkin invites us to consider that we humans, by nature, are communal and cooperative – not competitive. More recent research regarding ‘caring’ and ‘empathy’ support his idea.

Of course in order for one to actually search one must, according to Greenleaf, be a seeker. A seeker is open to the possibility that he or she will be influenced by the search; people who are ‘sure’ do not need to search and seek for they already ‘know.’ Searching and seeking are rooted in doubt and curiosity and inquiry and possibilities.

Greenleaf also provides us with an ‘antidote’ to competition. Serving – with distinction. This directs us to the concept of ‘high achievement.’ Walt Disney was rooted in ‘high achievement’ and ‘serving with distinction’ more than ‘competition.’ He needed (not just wanted) his competitors to be successful. Why? Because he believed that if they were successful (and he also helped a number of his ‘competitors’ become highly successful) he would be able to achieve more and become even more distinctive (and he was able to do so on both accounts). Professional athletes who are ‘true’ superstars also want their opponents to be high achievers for if they are then it will enable them to continue to function at a high level (many superstars spend time helping their counterparts improve).

High achievement is rooted in an abundance mentality/model. Competition is rooted in a scarcity mentality/model. Currently we are in the middle of the NBA playoffs.  The ‘super-stars’ continue to help those around them play at a high level and the ‘wanna-be-super-stars’ continue to complain and gripe about ‘bad calls,’ etc.  The former are rooted in an abundance mentality and continue to be high achievers; the latter are rooted in a scarcity mentality and continue to be rooted in competition and continue to be under-achievers (by the by – ‘talent’ is not the difference here for a number of these under-achieving ‘leaders’ are quite talented).

How about you, Gentle Reader, are you rooted in an abundance model or in a scarcity model? Do you seek to be high achieving, or do you get caught up in mere competition? Is Walt Disney your mentor?  Or is Wile E. Coyote your mentor? 

A GUIDED REFLECTION

Awareness is not a giver of solace – it is just the opposite.  It is a disturber and an awakener. –Robert K. Greenleaf

Awareness.  Once again, Greenleaf calls us back to being aware.  There are, as we all know, many things each moment that we can choose to be aware of — and we do choose.  AND to what extent do we choose with intention and purpose?  Today, Gentle Reader, I am going to invite you into a guided reflection.  I will offer you a few questions and I invite you to take some time and hold each one and become aware of what emerges into your consciousness as you do so; some find it helpful to capture in writing what emerges for them.  Before you move on to another question you might find it helpful to take one minute and ‘clear your mind.’

The following are questions that I ask leaders to hold and reflect upon AND they are also questions that we might all hold and reflect upon.  You can engage each question from a ‘role’ you’ve taken on (leader, parent, employee, artist, bricklayer, etc.), from the perspective of one who is a human-being.  So, Gentle Reader, here are the questions:

* As a _____________, what are two or three ‘core values’ that you hold [a ‘core value’ is a value that to the best of your ability you will never compromise]?

*  As a ____________, what are two or three guiding life-principles that you follow [e.g. To live a life rooted in integrity.]?

*  As a ____________, when the pressure is on, what is your default (reactive?) response: to coerce, to manipulate, to persuade, to influence?

*  Overall, does the way you ______________get you what you want?  What do you want?  [If I know what I want and if the way I ___________ gets me what I want the chances that I will change — or even be open to consider changing — will be close to zero.]

*  What sort of things about yourself might lead you to make a decision that gets you poor results?

*  When are you open to being influenced by voices that do not resonate with you — or that are outright disturbing to you or that directly challenge you?  What keeps you from being open to being influenced by these voices?

Well, Gentle Reader, I hold an intention that one or more of these will help you to become more aware of who you are and of who you are choosing to become.  I leave you with the words of Carl Jung. 

One does not become enlightened by imaging figures of light, but by making darkness conscious.

RE-VISITING GREENLEAF’S ‘CONCLUDING OBSERVATIONS’

Good Day, Gentle Reader.  I have been re-reading and re-savoring Greenleaf’s ‘Original’ Servant as Leader essay (the essay he wrote for College/University Student Leaders).  I call this his ‘inspired essay.’  Greenleaf writes: Five concluding observations seem important to me at the time of this writing:

• True servant-leaders are artists in the deep meaning of being open to chaos.
• Not much that is really important can be accomplished with coercive power.
• Nothing much happens without a dream.  For something great to happen, there must be a great dream.
• To refuse to examine the assumptions one lives by is immoral.
• In the end, all that matters is love and friendship.

Artists create and co-create.  Today, rapid change is the norm and will continue to be the norm.  And rapid change engenders chaos.  Our learning must strive to be equal to or greater than the rate of change or we will ‘fall behind’ (an understatement to be sure).  ‘Learning’ requires the efforts of ‘WE’ more than ‘I’.  ‘WE’ must learn to be ‘artists’ together, to learn together, to co-create together.  This is no easy challenge for us in our Culture for our Culture is not communal but is rooted in the individual – the ‘I-Go’ (not Ego) Culture.  The ‘servant-first’ (follower and leader) is committed to serving so that ALL grow and so that society becomes more just and caring.  The ‘artists’ do not rely on coercion – and this takes us to Greenleaf’s second ‘Observation.’

Because we are imperfect beings we will coerce and manipulate.  The servant-leader knows why he/she chooses to coerce and manipulate AND seeks to avoid doing both and instead seeks to choose to persuade and influence.  At best coercion and manipulation results in compliance.  If a servant-leader (or any leader) seeks for others to ‘buy-in’ and/or ‘emotionally own’ then the servant-leader will persuade and/or influence.  Persuasion uses ‘logic and reason’ in order to convince the other(s) to ‘buy-in.’  Influence relies on questions so that the other discerns and ‘emotionally owns’ his/her responses and actions.  People who ‘buy-in’ and who ‘emotionally own’ will freely give energy that money cannot buy.  These two lead us to Greenleaf’s third ‘Observation.’

We are more likely to ‘buy-in’ and ‘emotionally own’ if we co-create a ‘great dream.’  This dream is ‘great’ because it will never be achieved – the ‘dream-holders’ will always be striving to ‘live the dream.’  The ‘dream’ energizes and helps keep a ‘focus’ for the ‘dream-holders.’  I am sitting in a Starbucks.  Now here is a ‘big dream’ that continues to be held by the ‘dream-holders.’  I love visiting this Starbucks because the ‘Partners’ care and are genuine when they welcome a visitor and even when they are being whelmed over with orders they are joking and laughing and being patient with one another.  They are, in a true sense, ‘living the dream’ (I am not talking about ‘money’ I am talking about ‘serving’ in a way that demonstrates ‘care’ for those being served –including one another and the customer). 

Greenleaf’s fourth ‘Observation’ is one of his most challenging.  In many ways the assumptions we have integrated (especially the assumptions that reside in our sub-conscious) determine how we ‘view’ the world, how we ‘judge’ the world and how we choose to ‘engage’ our world and those others who also inhabit the/our world.  If I hold an assumption that ‘People cannot be Trusted’ then I will live a certain way.  If I hold an assumption that people are inherently trust-worthy then I will live a certain way.  What we forget, or deny, is that our assumptions are truly ‘assumptions’ they are not ‘reality.’  Our assumptions help create our reality.  Change an assumption and you will change reality.

Greenleaf’s fifth ‘Observation’ is, for me, the most impactful: ‘In the end, all that matters is love and friendship.’   When I live into and out of this ‘Observation’ then I am able to truly serve and embrace Greenleaf’s ‘Best Test’ and live into and out of my own ‘Credo.’ 

How about you, Gentle Reader.  What are your responses to Greenleaf’s ‘Concluding Observations’?